Stuff I Like

Quotes That Make Me Laugh

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend. Emo Philips

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. Steve Martin

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln

Let’s have some new cliches. Samuel Goldwyn

What’s another word for Thesaurus? Steven Wright

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Mike Myers

painted smiley on human fingers

Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_funny.html